it's been seven months since i've written in this and for some reason that doesn't feel like very long. in seven months i can't believe so much has happend and changed for me. i'd like to think they are for the better, but sometimes i'm not sure. no one reads this anymore so i feel i can openly write about them so atleast they are out there. my group of the four best friends that i thought would always be there for me has disinigrated; i find myself surrounded by a whole new group of people. the only friend i started out with, seems to be the only friend i'm left with. the two people i was closest to in my whole life have gone. i suppose it's my fault, but i don't see how or why in one situation. i never thought i would have to force conversation on those to two people. i never thought conversation could become awkward with those two people. the good news is, i'm happy. i feel content. i'm happy with the few close relationships i do have. it's brought us closer. i'm over all the drama that happend, i'm glad that they are happy even if it means i'm not apart of it. i hope you find happiness, i never meant to hurt anyone. i honestly did love you. apparently, i'm a whole new person. even if i don't see it. i'm still angry about it. i still don't understand what happend, but i'm okay now. | 
